Saturday, June 14, 2003

post://200424956/

Whew, mucho ponderation. I'm awake early on a Saturday - how'd that happen? =] Got home a little while ago, drove around for a bit. I ended up being back near home, called a few people - one dissapeared, haven't heard from Carissa in a long time. At least since Tom's funeral... her phone was disconnected, and her dad's house no longer had their name on the mailbox.
I tried to see if they were at least in the same town/area via 411 - but none in the local area, or even MA in general with said name. She had mentioned something about PA... going to college, but wasn't sure that would ever come.
I kinda feel bad, there's a few people that I've yet to chill with, from before I moved that I said I'd keep in touch. It's a far ways away and the few times I would invite people for a shindig - they never came... so at least I tried.

I spent a lot of time thinking how people interact.... some change around other people - some are used to direct one on one speaking... without multiple inputs and distractions. I'm just wondering if it's enough of an inconvenience to not want to stick my toes in it. It seems like it get's pretty deep in there... and though I don't mind getting a little wet - if everyone's going to drown, it's just not worth it. Two people on a lifeboat while the other freezes to death clinging to a door... that's just not right either.

How to keep the peace -- not get into the situation in the first place, understand that sometimes things just can't be for whatever reason, at least not now. I don't want to give up the chance, someone I've identified with and enjoy being around. There's pluses and minuses, I'm always dwelling on the pluses. Often it's too soon for the minuses - got to give those time to emerge, detect patterns, and see if it's going to cause an issue later on -- if the issue is worth more then the end reward, then it's probably not worth it. I'm still hoping the issue is very small, or can be reasoned into submission.
posted @ 08:59

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